out of the box birthday

I have deceived you already with the title of this posting.

You probably believed I meant "out of the box" as in - innovative thinking.

Am I right? [of course I am]

The truth is, I meant "out of the box" in a very literal sense.

Last week Steven celebrated his 25th birthday. Along with celebating his big quarter-of-a-century day, I also did a happy dance for pancake mix and cake mix. You know, the stuff OUT OF THE BOX!

First came the pancakes. Gluten-free, of course. Steven said his mom (an awesome, awesome, did I mention awesome cook) usually made him pancakes for breakfast on his birthday. I decided I would try to make his morning feel like home, so I heated up the skillet and, well, mixed up the... mix.

Victory! They were delicous! See happy boy, I mean 25 year old mustached man, below:

Whoop whoop. It's ok, you can do a happy dance. I did.

Then came dessert. A gluten-free vanilla cake with nutella icing!

After digging through the batter for the egg shells I dropped into the bowl, I realized I had no idea what I was doing. No need to panic though - have I ever mentioned that my sister is sort of an amatuer bakerella?

Straight to gchat I went and sure enough, Lauren was online.

Me: "Um, after this thing bakes, do I take it right out of the pan? Or let it cool? HELP."

Lauren: (cool as she can be) "Let it cool for about half an hour before taking it out of the pan. Then take it out of the pan and really let it cool for even longer. When it's completely cooled, you can put on the icing."

Me: "You rock. I love you. I'll let you know how it turns out."

Lauren, "Good luck, lady."

Weeeell.... It all came together perfectly! Behold, my masterpiece out-of-the-gluten-free-box!

Sitting on the bar to cool. We, uh, don't have any cake pans at the moment, but an oddly shaped Pyrex was up to the task.

My rather animated boyfriend - excited about his birthday cake.

Serving up the finished product! Yesss, success.

Good things do come in small packages.

Happy Birthday, Steven!

Post Script: My above-mentioned sister keeps a blog - detailing her baking adventures as well as her passion that rationalizes her sweet tooth - running. Check it out at:

willrunforcupcakes.wordpress.com

a furry soft spot

So I've been thinking of switching this blog over from blogspot to wordpress. During my wordpress investigation, I surfed across this blog and opened the webpage just because of what I saw in the thumbnail image describing the posting:

pajamadays.wordpress.com/2010/03/10/dog-days/

It made me wimper, of course - and in this instance I feel even dorkier for crying because I'm sitting next to Pete Stetina's girlfriend (we're both punching away at our laptops) and I think she might think I'm crazy.

But if you're a dog person, give it a read. It is bittersweet for me ... knowing the feelings this woman and her family are experiencing ...


For all my life, I'd give up so many things to bring back our sweet Gertie Girl.



Gertie Caudill. Lounging in the sunroom with a tennis ball smuggled in from the back yard. Summer 2009.

a big omelet of defeat

That's what I made for myself tonight.

See, Steven was out of town for the day and as dinner time rolled around, I began to feel rebellious with a dash of courage.

I'm no good in the kitchen. Never have been. Don't want anything to do with that room in the house.

Some little girls like baking cookies and treats and stirring the noodles with their moms in the kitchen. As a kid, I wanted to smack those little girls. As a woman, they still frustrate me. All I ever wanted was a man to cook for me.

That's what I wanted and I knew I was destined for it. I honed my man-hunting skills and steered clear of the kitchen. Through the years, I perfected every excuse in the book. College helped because I was obviously studying so hard [yeah right] that all I had time for was pizza and spaghetti noodles.

Along the way, I did discover I was quite skilled with sandwich making and knew that if I could manage to lure in the right man and make him fall for me quickly enough - whilst masking my dislike for cooking by shoving gourmet sandwiches in his face at peak hunger times - I'd have it made. By the time he knew what had hit him, our love would be strong enough to conquer all cooking dysfunction. Right?

Then I met Steven.

That made a whole lotta of sense. He completely duped me with his smile and cute dimples and now I live with a guy who is required to consume about 3 times that of the average male. You may be asking, "why didn't you think of that when you decided to date a professional endurance athlete?"

I don't have the answer, people.

So back to the omelet of defeat. I've been trying. I really have. Trying to both get over my dislike for cooking and at the same time, become more independent for myself, more dependable for my boyfriend [oh Gawd, i can't believe I just admitted that...] and maybe even find a little... fun... in the meantime.

Two things I know I can do are scramble eggs and sautee veggies. Seriously, I'm sort of badass at both. Watch out Julia Childs.

Tonight, I tried to combine both known skills by preparing an omelet.

And nowww the photos you've all been waiting for:

Asparagus and avocado egg omelet beginnings [we just happened to have those items in the fridge... and of course cheese would have been nice, but I don't typically shop for that because of Mr. Dairy-free, my handsome roommate.]

Lookin' good!











Feelin' confident!











Ready for the flip!













...

wtf. Egg, asparagus and avocado MESS anyone?

Well, I still ate it. And enjoyed it too. My amateur excuse is, "it all tastes the same, no matter how it looks." I'll keep trying, I promise.

And yes, I drank a coca-cola with my meal of devastation. Straight out of the can.

With a good amount of caffeine in my veins, I shall now approach the "by hand" dishwashing duties with angst masked as zeal and resolution.

[dishwashing gloves on... annnd.... go.]

this little skinny went to the market

Open Market Tuesdays in Girona.

We went for inexpensive linens and did come home with a few towel sets (Steven sweats a lot on the trainer these days), but towel sets are not this woman's treasure.

What else did I buy? A colander.

I don't strain many things. But it was ceramic, glazed in a beautiful shade of green and I couldn't pass it up. It stared at me as I passed the first time through the open market.

A sweet voice came from the holey bowl, speaking to me, "If you put me in your kitchen, you will begin to enjoy being there more. I will keep you company with my soothing green color and artistic design."

Oh, I tried not to listen, but ended up making four rights through the park in which the market is held until we met again.

Everybody, say hello to Little Green Colander. ["Heeellllooo, Litttlllle Greeeen Colllanderrr."]

After getting her safely home across many a stone street, I quickly made her feel welcome. We worked together to clean a batch of mushrooms that I eventually sauteed into a chicken cacciatorie-ish dish.

Such a pretty Little Green Colander.

By the way, dinner was good. It was Steven's recipe, which pretty much means we threw a bunch of stuff into a pan and, because he's Italian, it cooked up perfectly.

Buenas noches, cocina. Buenas noches, Little Green Colander. Y buenas noches, mi amigos.

this litle absent mind of mine...

We are sooo overdue to catch up, aren't we?

I am in Spain. Or, Estoy en Espana.

I'm 10 days into this new chapter with Steven. His broken collarbone has changed the direction of our adventures a bit, but we'll be back on track in no time.

He is recovering quickly and painfully. Yes, painfully - he mostly grunts and pouts, but continues to kick butt with his training and physical therapy.

As for me...

I don't grunt too often.

But I have definitely been feeling overwhelmed, busy and out of my element.

And fortunate, so fortunate. For the most obvious of reasons.

There are many stories to tell, for this lovely life of mine has become an epic tale. For now, won't you forgive me for my blogging absense and renew your dedication to finding me here on a more frequent basis.

I'm off to change the color scheme on this blog. Black is so November.

Love,

Jen

'Bout My Where Abouts.

I'll have to skip all the chaos that was my journey to California. Packing up was stressful and tiring. Steven and I came close to biting each other's heads off.

Good thing we didn't take it that far.

Fastforward past the 8am flight, the shuttle driver who wouldn't help us lift our luggage into the van, the delay in Chicago due to heavy winds in San Francisco and, um, the barf bag usage during the hour-long "descent" into the Bay Area.

This morning, after unpacking the few suitcases and boxes that have already made it to Petaluma, we embarked on our "relaxation days" at "Camp Getaway." Steven's folks own a small cabin-esque home in Guerneville (sp?) on the Russian River and it really does live up to its name, Camp Getaway.

We stopped by a quaint [do Californians use the word "quaint"?] produce stand to pick up some oh-so-organic shiz for our meals in the next few days.

Then we drove on into the valley, passing the Korbel vineyards on the way. It was amazingly surreal. "Um, Steven, is that THE Korbel winery?" "Yes, and there's the Kendall-Jackson vineyards too." "Oh, ok... cool. Dang."

Now we've just finished a ridiculously tasty organic and gluten-free meal and are settling in by the fire. I helped cook the pork chops. Yes, it's true, I'll be top chef before you all know it. Except without the bad hats and cliche apron. Hey, I might even come back to Georgia a little pudgy. Heck yes.

Today I tasted two new things: 1. Mochi, a rice-ish delight, very tasty when drizzled with organic [key word] maple syrup, and 2. gluten-free, dairy-free bread [not all that tasty]. Oh, and 3. purple potatos. Very good!

Jet-lag is still kicking my butt, but that's ok - there's a cozy little queen-sized bunk waiting for me here at Camp Getaway. It's the best thing to be able to cuddle up with Steven without the "man... this won't last long because we have to leave each other soon" thoughts bubbling up in my mind. We still have a lot to learn about each other, but now we finally have the time to fight and make up and figure out how to express ourselves without worrying about disappearing sand from an hourglass.

To all my Georgia friends and family: though I'm happy and looking forward, I miss you all already and have thought about each and every one of you a dozen times.

Love bunches,

Jen

AT&T Commercial

Everytime I see the AT&T commercial with the little girl and her lost dog, I cry. I actually break down into sobs.

When she sees her little terrier at the end of the commercial and starts running to her, yelling, "Sarah! You're HOME!"... I lose it. It's the desperate joy in her voice that gets me.

If I saw Gertie on my doorstep when I came home, I'd shreak with joy. Uncontrollable, pure joy.

I miss her so much that I think the hole in my heart is actually growing... if that's even possible.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEInSyTHcpc

I quit.

Seriously, I quit my job today.

Well, actually, I informed my boss that I was quitting about four weeks ago. But today was my last day at work. I cleaned out my cube, threw my belongings in a box and walked out.

The more emotional side of the story involves taking photos of my best friends, my family, Gertie Girl and Steven off my bulletin boards... and throwing away the clepto-esque concert posters I had collected and brought in as 'show and tell' after crazy fun weekends out on the town in the last few years.

I threw the keys to my file cabinets at Shane (my boss) in a melodramatic "We're through! You can have your keys back!" manner, and I hugged my favorite co-workers (minus two - Erin and Kellie were out of the office today).

Ah, but it's OK. I'm far too close to that group to lose touch with them. And there's still that get-together at TAP next week to look forward to.

So now on to the rest of my life. Tomorrow I have the dreaded swimsuit shoot with a completely new photographer - never worked with this guy before. Its not that I look bad in a bikini, it's just that I'm never completely ready to see the contact sheets and hear the "oh, we shouldn't use that one... it makes her stomach look weird." Or worse, "Ewww, bad angle."

At least, on this occasion, I'm not walking a runway in a two piece. I prefer to do that completely clothed.

Sunday my parents are driving up to secure my antique dresser and a few odds and ends that I can't make room for in Petaluma or Girona. It'll be good to see my folks, but I have to convince myself to get more organized/packed in my apartment before then - so my dad won't shake his head in the way I imagine most military dads shake their heads in disapproval. "I love you, Daaaad. Don't worry, I'll get it all cleaned up. See look - I made a spreadsheet and a list of exactly how to execute this move across the country."

Hmm... on that note... I should get a few things done around here before going to bed.

El fin de semana esta aqui. Esta bien, mi amigos.

Tumultuous

June 25th? Really? That was my last post.

Tumultuous.

The last two months have been nothing short of tumultuous.

In August, our dear golden retriever, Gertie, got sick and was unable to recover. We let her go on August 31st - less than two months shy of her 10th birthday.

It was miserable and I doubt any one of us will ever let a day go by when we don't have her on our minds. It's been a month and I still cry about it every day. Is that terribly sad? If so, I don't even care. She was my unconditional companion, my protector and my secret keeper. She was an angel.

"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." - Kahlil Gibran

Ah, dry the tears...

The good part about the last couple of months is my decision to move to California to be closer to my boyfriend, Steven. I'm perfectly aware that there are people in the world that just quit their jobs, sell their belongings and move away from their friends and family - without a second thought. I, however, am not one of those folks. So it was a really big deal for me to make the final decision. It was absolutely the right decision to make and now I'm getting on a plane in two weeks with a couple extra suitcases and going to live in Petaluma, California. No more long distance, worrying about when we'll see each other next and for how long we'll be able to stay for a visit. I'm so ready for that stress to be gone.

What am I going to do while living in California, you ask? Did I get a new corporate job? Am I going back to school?

I don't even know the answer to that yet! A Master's degree on an MBA are definitely possibilities - but I had a rough time concentrating my way through undergrad, so there will be a lot of deliberation before pulling the trigger on that new endeavor.

For the most part this winter, I plan to continue volunteering - just as I have been here in Atlanta. I'll be working with a Golden Retriever organization called Canine Companions. They train aid dogs to give to people with disabilities.

Then, as usual, I'll be on both sides of the camera - photographing whatever I can photograph and also taking modeling assignments in the San Francisco area.

ANNND, I'll be running around all of Northern California with Steven. We have so many adventures planned - we don't even know where to begin! Well, ok, actually, we're starting with a hiking/camping trip into the Hoover Wilderness. But after that... who knows. :)

For now, I'm fighting off a stomach bug and a bad cold/cough at the same time. Let's hear it for green tea and echinacea.

Time for bed and hopefully getting through one of my last days at the office tomorrow without getting sicker.

xo,

Jen

the untweet.

If I was a twittererer, these are the kinds of things I might tweet:


- Tour of Missouri dresses are in. Hopefully we'll win in round one. If only Erin's bubbies will cooperate. [hint, hint: the dresses aren't blue this year...]


- I hate Brittney Spears. And I hate anyone who thinks she's worth a crap. [who, soapbox...] Why does she talk like she's trying to squeeze one out? Sorry to be crude, but honestly...


- I downloaded "Battlefield" by Jordin Sparks this morning on itunes. True story. I know, I know, hate me for it.


- Uneaten bananas do not offer a fresh aroma for cube life. [Erin's voice in my head... "then eat the damn banana."]


- Its amazing how happy I am this summer as opposed to last summer. Let's hear it for amazing friends, an incredible boyfriend, and some much-needed common sense that showed up a little too late last summer.

Girl Crush

I have a new girl crush in the world of cycling.

Erica Allar.

I have serious envy for girls who can smash a race, throw on a cap and still look feminine and purdy on a podium.

Now I will proceed to learn more about her to make sure this crush is legit.

Yep.

Summer Skin

Time flies when you're having fun.

Has it really only been 5 days since I returned from Spain? It feels like weeks already...

I fell in love with Girona. The air, the history and the lifestyle lured me in and with charasmatic Steven at my side, I was at the mercy of the city.

There's no point trying to describe those 10 days. Words would fall short of the beauty - not just in the city or the language, but in the way I grew as a person and in my relationship in such a short time.

Anyway, now I'm back and up to no good - as usual. Erin and I have been invited back onto the podium for Tour of Missouri ambassador duties. We're happy to take the work and to work with such an incredible organization. What color should our dresses be this year? I've worn red once and blue twice. I wonder if only the Credit Leon girls get to wear yellow...

Activity Line-up:
Fun Friday Lunch :: tomorrow :: Lauren and Sam! Yay!
Better Than Ezra :: this Sunday :: con Linz y Eric
Warner Robins :: Father's Day weekend :: everyone will be home :)
Northern California sweep :: 4th of July weekend :: Cozzas and Russian River Cabin festivities
Back to School Classic :: Mid-August :: 5k run to benefit a scholarship in my grandmother's name

holding back the word vomit...

I have mean things to say... mean things that are too awful to post on this blog because everyone will think I'm a shallow, raving lunatic.

What do I do???

upstairs investigation

Ah, apartment living.

In the time I have lived where I currently reside, I have had 2 upstairs "neighbors". I have the most fun trying to figure out who these people are and what they do. The first lady I was convinced was a stripper. Really tan... as in - too tan for January. Reeeally thin. Reeally big boobs. She worked odd hours and always seemed to be rolling in around 4 or 5 am. She was really nice, but her little shit dog was not.

Well, she moved out and the space above me has taken on a new personality. My latest guess is single dad, two kids and a dog. Why? Because it gets exponentially louder on weekends and the footfalls racing down the hallway during that time are far too quick for any full-sized human.

So I think "single dad" must have a subscription to skinemax. The music coming from directly above me sounds like some seductive one-hit wonder from the 80's. Except its not fading in and out, in a Top Gun montage sort of way. It just keeps going and going...

That's not going to help me or Gertie get any sleep. And we need it. I hope this isn't his weekend to keep the rugrats.

Ah, wait (in real time), the music has stopped! Yesss!

Doctor's appointment is first thing tomorrow morning. Hopefully I'll figure out why my eye sockets feel like they're about to implode. Sinuses? Maybe? Any guesses?

Ok, g'night all, from me and the Gertie Girl. Its extra cold in the house, just for her. :)

did you get the memo?

Um, yeah... so Tour of Missouri announced today that Quick Step will be joining the race this year.

Please note that I am doing a happy dance all by myself in my cube right now.

Is that a pun, Erin? Quick Step / doing a happy dance? Hmm. Ehh, who cares.

Tour of Missouri is kickin' it with the line-up announcements. I'm so happy for the state, the organizers, the sponsors and the fans. This race continues to elevate North American cycling with every step. I love it. There's going to be one hell of a showdown in the midwest this September!

snowglobe things

is this forever?

It feels like time without Steven is crawling by. Have you seen the video of the drunk little boy on youtube? The little kid that has obviously had too much gas in the dentist's chair? He's all "Is this foreeever? Is this real life? Why is this happening to meee?" That's what I feel like.

And I'm a talker and I have to share my feelings, no matter what. So I try talking to Steven about it, but I don't think he has much sympathy because if he had it his way, I'd be on a plane to Spain tomorrow - one way ticket style.

Haha. Plane to Spain. Sorry... made me laugh.

I can't decide if I'm crazy to stay or if I'd be crazy to go. But I won't. Not yet. I can't! I'm a Virgo. We don't do shit like that.

It seems like I can make it about a week on optimism, but then I have a bad day and end up moping around my apartment like a sick puppy. Sometimes I cry too. Its true.

Ugh. Pathetic. Then after chilling out for a day or so, I find the optimism again and we start all over again.

Anyway... Cycleto.com did a fun interview about me... well, about "Steven Cozza's biggest fan". I just want to say that I'm sure I'm not Steven Cozza's "biggest fan". There are some funny people out there...

You can watch the Cycleto.com interview here:

http://www.cycleto.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=841:the-woman-behind-the-man-caudill-and-cozza&catid=15:interviews&Itemid=6

Its bedtime. I'm full and I had a good "run" today. Its a very slow uphill battle, but I'm working on it. I haven't enjoyed what my mid-twenties (yes, its still MID, not LATE) have done to my joints and muscles. Everything is 5 times as hard as it was when I was 19.

Hey, did you know - Asparagus has something like 20 calories a serving. Whaaa? I didn't even think that was possible. What does watermelon have - 2 calories per serving?

Oh, new music for you to check out - Bat for Lashes. Its like extra creepy, less techno Imogen Heap. Give it a listen.

Oh the Ides

Good grief. I did suuuch a good job keeping up with Tour of California! [mute the sarcasm already]

Its been almost a month since my last post. California was amazing. Great weather, intense cycling, seeing Anji and supporting Steven.

Fast forward a month. The between stuff is important to me, but it'll be auto-snooze for readers.

Cycling folks - who keeps up with the daily distractions on PEZ? Well, I have to admit that I check every single day... probably part habit, part obsession, because I've been a daily distraction 3 or 4 times. Today's distraction was the hotness. I'm not the biggest "blonde" fan, let's face it, but these girls are killa's and I mean that in the kindest way possible.

The plan is to dust off the bike. I know I'll love getting back on, but for some reason, I'm using every excuse in the world not to just yet. "Ohhh, but its raaainning outside." Aah hum, there's a trainer in perfectly good shape sitting in the laundry room.

This will eventually catch up with me. Being graced with an incredible metabolism and a picky appetite has been a blessing in my young adulthood. I'm always skinny, no matter what. And because I'm young, I always look pretty toned. Sometimes more than other, sure, but for the most part, I look pretty decent. But that's all changing slowly and I better come to terms with it sooner or later. God help me if I turn into "saggy-knees lady" or oh please get the image of "pancake ass" out of my head. Ewwww!

Ok, too late. I just thought of the pancake ass and I'm revolted. I am going to hop on the trainer. I'll be happy when its over.

New Music these days: I Nine. Check 'em out.

Later,

Jen

Ha, speaking of thunder and lightning...

Um... you guys have seen the Lance interview from the AToC press conference last night, right?

If not, you can view it on www.cycleto.com.

Steven called to say goodnight last night and mentioned something about how Christian had returned from the press conference and said that Lance and a reporter got into an argument. I thought that sounded a little bogus... honestly... if I've learned anything from being involved with this sport in the last few years, its that the peloton is one big gossip chain.

But then this morning I actually saw the interview on the web and... yeah... Lance laid the smack down.

Erin and I watched the video this morning from our office.

[sidebar: I happen to be great friends with my fellow podium hostess from Tour of Missouri. Matter of fact, we work together on a daily basis and we're super close]

Both of us just sat there for a moment after the video finished. Our mouths had dropped open and we couldn't seem to close them.

To be honest, I think the notion that Lance came back to the sport to bring awareness to the Livestrong Foundation and cancer prevention is sort of a lame excuse. Its just my opinion, but I believe he feels like he has something to prove and he's just bored when he's not kicking a bunch of people's *sses. But for a reporter to go beyond "critic" and suggest that Lance is a form of cancer to the sport of cycling - that's just redonkulous. Yes, I said redonkulous.

[redonkulous: (adj.) excessively ridiculous; head-smackingly ridiculous]

I think Lance handled the situation perfectly. That reporter is a jerk. [give me a break, I'm trying to cut down on the profanity in case my parents are reading this] I mean, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but shouldn't the press conference have been about the Tour of California and not some inappropriate cancer analogy? Couldn't the reporter have asked how Lance planned to help Levi during the next 10 days? And good grief, speaking of Levi, did anyone else pay attention to his face while Lance was making Kimmage feel like the the world's biggest loser? That may have been the best comic relief of the entire video clip. He looked so uncomfortable.

Oh, to have been a fly on the wall during that Q&A.

I say, just let the guy ride his bike. Let them all ride their bikes, for heaven's sake.

"Why can't we all just get along???" Dammit!